Why God

Why did you take my Frank? he had been through so much and battled hard battles and always came through, we were suppose to grow old together, we were perfect together, we said I love you everyday and never spent a night away from each other... how can I mend my heart, how can I pick up the peices and keep them all put together.. how do I empty his dresser drawer or put his things away... you took him away from me now help me do this life alone without my other half

They come in three's I heard

First Frank needs a new liver, he is wasting away fast..
Then my Aunt who is my Godmother is dying, she is in heart failure..
Then today I had a message on my voicemail when we got home from spending 12 hours at the transplant work-up.. my dad may have prostrate cancer.. and if it is he is not healthy enough to survive surgery according tot he docs.. all at once...it wasn't enough almost losing Frank a couple years ago and my great nephew having a rare cancer.. just not enough to test my faith or my heart...

Not a vent

It seems I have forgotten the power of prayer, I really felt alone here in the big city, friends that live minutes away to busy and wrapped up in their own lives, family to busy or moved away to far.. nobody ever calls anymore unless it is with a problem of their own.. of course there has been a couple people who are there and do call and I feel their care and love through the phone and emails but they live far away...
then just when I am sinking into the low lonely feelings the phone rings.. a long lost bestest friend called out of the blue just when I needed her ear.. she lives 10 hours away but just hearing her voice made it all ok again... then another friend emailed that I have lost touch with.. she is a strong believer in God and brings comfort with her.... then someone I don't even really know that well has reached out her hand to help with little simple things like shopping and that takes a big worry off my mind when I have a child in the home that likes to eat like a teenage boy even though she is a 11 yr old girl!.. yes God is there and he just let me know he always was and will always be...
I may not want to travel this road again but I know every curve and will do it and I will do it scared and with a hurt heart and the fear of losing Frank this time around and as before I will do it God by my side and I will thank him for another day with Frank and pray for another one.

just a inconvenience

This is my life and I need to accept it..
I am doing it alone and I have it accept that..
I am a inconvenience to family and friends and I have to accept that...
I am not to bother friends and family unless they want something from me and I need to accept that...
Frank is ill and may not live another year and I have to accept that...
I have to figure out everything and how to handle everything by myself and I just have to deal with it..
I am alone even though I live with my husband and child and have to accept that...
This is the cards I was dealt and although many backs have been turned on me I will not turn my back on anyone... I am who I am I am sad I am scared and I am carrying a plate that is heavy and I need a friend but accept the fact they find me and my life and needs inconvenient.
ignore the tears they are self pity, ignore the heartbreak I feel, I caused it because I chose to love, ignore me and be to busy or tired or just not feeling like giving me a ride when my fridge is empty, it's my fault some how ...
Call me when you need a favor, I will be right here and will help you.

economy sucks

What a wonderful day to wake too...
First the coffee pot decided not to work anymore.. I NEED COFFEE.. aint happening..
Then the phone rings, I have been manning the phone during the night hours at home for a friend of a friend who has a garage, they do get calls in the middle of the night for a needed towing or jump or lock out.. I get all the info call who ever is on call that night and get their butts up..well do to the loss of money and tightning of belts I am kicked to the curb.. I really needed that 800 a month and it worked out great since I am taking care of my hubby and raising a troubled child... now what? oh well... we will be ok, somehow things will work out how they are suppose to... but what a blow.. no warning, just poof...

This to shall pass

Kids!

Ok, early in the morning I thought for sure I had just discovered a rare type of either a bug or a deformed yellow mouse.. it started when my foster dog Bella seen something under my dog Jacks wire crate.. Auggy my other dog spotted something also.. they were frantic over it.. it was moving back and forth just in the front on the floor between the front wire and floor tray.. I was in the living room the crate was in the dining room with no lights on in either room.. but the kitchen light illuminated enough for me to make out some object moving back and forth as the two dogs gave chase.. I was unable to go into the dining room at that moment because I was trying to calm my heart beat to a more normal pace.. what was this? why was it yellow? what creature comes with a yellow hump like back and moves that fast back and forth? I was bouncing back and forth between a giant flesh eating spider and a toxic mouse who has razor sharp teeth.. I didn't know if I should call 911 or my husband or grab a jar and call the tabloids.. just as I was ready to choose my daughter came down the stairs and seen this horror and reached down and picked it up and scolded the dogs for stealing her ball off her dresser...

True story

This is a bricklayers accident report which was printed in the newsletter of the British equivalent of the workers' compensation Board. This is a true story. Had this guy died, he'd have recieved a Darwin award for sure.

"Dear Sir, I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put poor "planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be suffucient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six story building. When I completed my work, I found I had some bricks left over, which, when weighted later were found to be slightly in excess of 500lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower then in barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded bricks into it. then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks. You will note in block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135lbs. Due to my supprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope.

Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collarbone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until my fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope.. in spite of the excruciating pain, I was now beginning to experience. At approximately the same time, however. the barrel of bricks hit the ground and bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 30 lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertabrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs. I hope this answers you inquiry."

It's true!

Did you know that dishes can reproduce... it's true! it really is! I swear! I can wash all the dishes, walk away and when I go back into the kitchen, without fail there is MORE DISHES IN THE SINK! it has to be some kind of conspiracy to make me think I am losing my mind... HA.. I have one over on them! I already lost it long ago.

I wonder if it hurts

To have two broken legs and two broken arms.. my husband and daughter suffer this terrible fate, dishes are left everywhere because with two broken everything it is impossible to carry them to the sink. With two broken legs you really can't take the garbage out and with two broken legs it is much easier to walk around something that is laying on the floor. I wonder often what would become of the house if I was to become broken.
I really never paid much attention before, but last night it dawned on me that I was missing my apron and food order tablet.. it hit me when every night my 11 yr old sets up a tray in the living room and awaits her food served then to top it off almost every time she has something negative to say about what she is eating.. so I spent a good 15 minutes thinking this over and then casually mentioned that tomorrow night she can fend for herself and by the way broken legs or not you are not being served anymore! she looks good in pale and jaw drop look

How Rude

This guy rings the bell last week.. he says they have this great new idea (his company) all he has to do is check three sides of my house to see if there is any damage, (hmm..this could be fun) ok.. so he says after looking, (mind you I made him crawl over a fence that I said wouldn't open) three of the 4 sides all look to have some damage, all I have to do is call my ins company (after I find out who they are) I kinda played dumb.. make a claim and then call these dorks back and for the cost of my deductable (less the 225 coupon they will give me) we can have new siding.. AWESOME! I always wanted to file a claim so our rates can go up.. but what they hey.. we get new siding with maybe 175 out of our pockets.. COOL! he says make sure I call them and get them the claim number and get things rolling.. YOU BET! so he gives me his card with phone numbers, he can tell I am not really biting.. so he tries to make small talk and asks me if I think he is pulling a scam.. I say NEVER! he goes on and on how he is just helping the community where he grew up.. his mother lives 4 blocks from me he says.. in fact she is white..(was that suppose to mean something?) a sales man is a sales man no matter the color... so I guess I got him feeling better about this so he then asked if he could put a sign up in front.. sure why not.. I like signs and they annoy my neighbors..
A few days later this young man who a few nights earlier told me I reminded him of his mother (oh yeah that sealed the deal) showed me how much he cared.. he called.. asked for me.. I said I was sorry but she is under sedation.. she has been off her meds for awhile and needed calm for a few days.. but I could take a message...HE HUNG UP! here I thought he cared.. he wanted me to have a pretty house.. he said I reminded him of his dear mom who was white and lived only 4 blocks from me.. he said I deserved this.. yet he just hung up with out asking if I would be ok.. and he took the sign away!

Shopping

I have never been a fan of shopping and today was even worse...
The rainbow close to my house is where I prefer to go so I can just get there and get it done..
They are going through some kind of "make-over" moving EVERY dang thing to another area.. bread on the opposite side of the store toliet paper no longer where it has been for 16 years!
ok..I can deal with that and learn the new lay out, what made it so annoying was that they just HAD to re-do and stock everything in the middle of the freakin day! why not when they are closed for the night! I mean they have almost every isle blocked except isle where they keep baby diapers! or organic wheat stuff or whatever is down that isle I have never ventured down and wasn't about to simply because they wanted me too! I even bought pickles I didn't want just to prove I didn't need the pickle isle to choose the type I wanted! then there was these old ladies everywhere wandering around with little lady voices saying "I'm lost" I just said follow the light! go NORTH.. TURN LEFT at the wheat germ! One old lady asked me if I was lost too.. I put on my best zombie face and said " they moved the condoms.. she walked away..
I left there feeling like I survived the maze